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Hey, this is my first ever tab! I hope you like it, I think it goes pretty well XD I'd say for the strumming pattern, just strum down, but up before the chord change, if that makes any sense. CAPO: 4 G D Y'all act like you never seen a white person before Em C Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door G D and started whoopin her ass worse than before Em C they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!) G D It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding, Em C he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?" G D And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots! Em C Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!) G D Feminist women love Eminem Em chigga chigga chigga C "Slim Shady, I'm sick of him look at him, G D Walkin' around grabbin' his you-know-what Em C Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!" G D Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose Em C But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms G D Em Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't C but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose G D "My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips" Em C And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss G D And that's the message that we deliver to little kids Em C And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is G D Of course they gonna know what intercourse is Em By the time they hit fourth grade C They got the Discovery Channel don't they? G D Em "We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals C who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP] G D But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes Em C then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope G D [*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote Em C Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes [Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)] G D 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady Em C All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating G D So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up, Em C please stand up, please stand up? G D Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records; Em C well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too! G D You think I give a damn about a Grammy? Em C Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me G D "But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?" Em C Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here? G D So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears? Em C Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs G D so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst Em C and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first G D You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV Em C "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!" G D I should download her audio on MP3 Em C and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!] G D Em I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me C so I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt] G D And there's a million of us just like me Em C who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me G D who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me Em C and just might be the next best thing but not quite me! [Chorus] G D I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you Em C things you joke about with your friends inside your living room G D The only difference is I got the balls to say it Em C in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all G D I just get on the mic and spit it Em C and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it G D better than ninety percent of you rappers out can Em C Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums G D It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty Em C I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting G D Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens Em C And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working G D And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin Em C He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings G D [*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, circling Em Screaming "I don't give a fuck!" C with his windows down and his system up G D So, will the real Shady please stand up? Em C And put one of those fingers on each hand up? G D And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control Em C and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go? [Chorus 4X] Ha ha Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us Fuck it, let's all stand up