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PADDY AND THE BARREL (THE SICK NOTE)
G C
G
DEAR SIR I WRITE THIS NOTE TO YOU TO TELL YOU OF MY PLIGHT.
C G Am D
FOR AT THE TIME OF WRITING I AM NOT A PRETTY SIGHT
C G
MY BODY IS ALL BLACK AND BLUE,
Am C
MY FACE A DEATHLY GRAY
D G Am
C
AND I WROTE THIS NOTE TO SAY WHY PADDYS NOT IN WORK
G
TODAY
WHILST WORKING ON THE FOURTEETH FLOOR, SOME BRICKS I HAD TO CLEAR, TO THROW THEM DOWN FROM SUCH A HEIGHT
NOT A GOOD IDEA. THE FOREMAN WASN`T VERY PLEASED, HE IS AN AWKWARD SOD, HE SAID I`D HAVE TO CART THEM DOWN
LADDERS IN ME HOD.
NOW CLEARING ALL THOSE BRICKS BY HAND, IT WAS SO VERY SLOW, SO I HOISTED UP A BARREL AND SECURED THE ROPE
BUT IN MY HASTE TO DO THE JOB I WAS TO BLIND TO SEE, THAT A BARREL FULLOF BUILDING BRICKS WAS HEAVIER
ME.
AND SO, WHEN I UNTIED THE ROPE THE BARREL FELL LIKE LEAD, AND CLINGING TIGHTLY TO THE ROPE I STARTED UP
I SHOT UP LIKE A ROCKET, TILL TO MY DISMAY I FOUND, THAT HALFWAY UP I MET THE BLOODY BARREL COMING DOWN!
THE BARREL BROKE MY SHOULDER AS TO THE GROUND IT SPED, AND WHEN I REACHED THE TOP I BANGED THE PULLY WITH
HEAD. I HUNG ON TIGHTLY, NUMB WITH SHOCK FROM THIS ALMIGHTY BLOW, AND THE BARREL SPILLED OUT HALF THE
FOURTEEN FLOORS BELOW.
NOW WHEN THOSE BRICKS HAD FALLEN FROM THE BARRELTOTHE FLOOR, I THEN OUT WHEIGHED THE BARREL, AND SO
DOWN ONCE MORE! STILL CLINGING TIGHTLY TO THE ROPE, MY BODY RACKED WITH PAIN WHEN, HALFWAY DOWN I MET THE BLOODY
ONCE AGAIN!
THE FORCE OF THIS COLLISION HALFWAY UP THE OFFICE BLOCK CAUSED MULTIPLE ABRASIONS AND A NASTY STATE OF
STILL CLINGING TIGHTLY TO THE ROPE, I FELL TOWARDS THE GROUND, AND I LANDED ON THE BROKEN BRICKS THE BARREL
ROUND.
I LAY THERE, GROANING ON THE GROUND, I THOUGHT I`D PASSED THE WORST, BUT THE BARREL HIT THE PULLEY-WHEEL
THEN THE BOTTOM BURST! A SHOWER OF BRICKS RAINDED DOWN ON ME-I HADN`T GOT A HOPE, AS I LAY THERE BLEEDING
THE GROUND-I LET GO THE BLOODY ROPE!
THE BARREL THEN BEING HEAVIER, IT STARTED DOWN ONCE MORE, AND LANDED RIGHT ACROSS ME AS I LAY UPON THE
IT BROKE THREE RIBS AND MY LEFT ARM, AND I CAN ONLY SAY THAT I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND WHY PADDYS NOT IN WORK TODAY!
