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Figured Out On Ukulele, Same On Guitar Capo 1st Fret C We've been on a bunch of dates G I weigh debates that this creates F G And hate that state of forced introspection C We traded wit, we swapped some spit, G You fingered me a little bit F G But we never really had a connection F C F C You did nothing wrong, I have no excuse F C G Just my intuition telling me we shouldn't reproduce C I know I have to end it G But pretend to just suspend it F G By contending that I'm busy all week C I let the foregone linger on G Text back with an emoticon F G Withdraw from you by being oblique F C F C Inside I know my tactics just delay it F C G But I'd do anything so I don't have to say it F G I'll draw this out forever like it's Vietnam F G Then one day I'll be gone like Bambi's mom Awww F C Cause there's the right thing to do F C Then there's what I'm gonna do F C There's so much I should say G Am But instead... I do the fade away G C Now I'm fading like chalk on a sidewalk G C Or the polio virus after Jonas Salk G C Like a Jewish guy at Arby's on Yom Kippur Am The Whig party post Millard Fillmore G C The erection of a man on antidepressants G C The cast of Diff'rent Strokes after adolescence G C Reproductive rights below the Mason Dixon Am Native Americans after the barter systems Dm G Your thyroid gland after Hashimoto Dm D The family in the Back to the Future photo Am Yeah I fade away C G We say that men are asshole who don't communicate F G We revel in our victimhood and amplify our hate C G We find ways to be indignant like it's a sport F G Then dissect their malignance with the views we distort F C F C The way men break up may be sloppy and terse F C G What they do is bad, but what we do is worse C G We pretend to ourselves it's the nice thing to do F G To let you down gently by just not fucking telling you C G And deep down we know it's the worst way to play it F G But we are what we have... huge pussies G C And women are hypocrites G C Especially ones in comedy bands G C We see your faults but not our own Am Then we wonder why we're all alone F C F C We fill you up with maybe's, excuses and stalls F G But like a baby in China... it's better to have balls F G Not the Good Wife type like Christine Baranski F G So I'll pull out and leave like I'm Roman Polanski F C Cause there's the right thing to do F C Then there's what I'm gonna do F C There's so much I should say G Am But instead... I do the fade away G C Like Verbal Kint fading into Kaiser Soze G C The rights in Arizona for a guy named Jose G C Opportunities for a college grad Am The love between your mom and dad G C Gonna Peter out like a gay Cetera G C Iranian relations since the Regan era G C Black Nike sales after Heaven's Gate Am Summer Camp attendance at Penn State Dm G The name Adolph after World War Two Dm D Like Debbie Gibson's pop career, Out of the Blue Am Yeah I fade away G C Cause I don't wanna get to know you G C I just want to blow you... off