WARNING: You are trying to view content from Ultimate-Guitar.com in an unauthorized application, which is prohibited. Please use an official Ultimate Guitar Tabs application for iPhone, iPad or Android to access legitimate chords, guitar, bass, and drum tabs from Ultimate-Guitar.com database. Type "ultimate guitar tabs" in Apple App Store's or Android Market's search to find the application.
+ --------------------------------------------------------------------- + | Ultimate Guitar Tabs Archive - your #1 source for tabs! | | http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/ | | | | Over 800,000 guitar, guitar pro and bass tabs! Also lessons, news, | | columns and guitar forums! | + --------------------------------------------------------------------- +
Garfunkel and Oates - The Loophole **Capo 3rd** C F All my life I've been good C G Do what my mom and dad and God say I should C F Go to church and Bible School G C To live by God's rule Am So whatever people tell me Am G That The Bible tells me C I will do C F Walk the halls at my school with my purity ring Am D Unlike those other girls, I've got my morals in check C F It was easy to do until I got a boyfriend Am D And pardon my French, but he's cute as heck C F And I made a pact C F To keep my hymen intact F G And Jesus and I are tight C F Never learned about the birds and the bees Am D I was taught to keep an aspirin in between my knees C F 'Cause The Bible says premarital sex is wrong Am D But Jason says that guys can't wait that long F C I don't want to lose him F C To someone who'll do him F G I need to figure something out C F Well there's a loophole in The Scripture that works really well Am D So I can get him off without going to hell C F It's my Hail Mary, full of grace Am D In Jesus' name we go to fifth base! Am D Oh thank you for making me holy Am D And thank you for giving me holes to choose from F G And since I'm not a godless whore F G He'll have to come in the back door Therefore Chorus: C F Fuck me in the ass 'cause I love Jesus Am F G The good Lord would want it that way C D F D Get that sweet sensation a throbbing rationalization F G It's just between you and me F G C 'Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see C F It's hard to be as pure as me Am G To resist the urge to lose my vaginal virginity C F To wait until my marriage bed Am G To give my husband my unsullied maiden head F C So take your cock out F C Shove it in my ass F G Fuck me until you come F C Oops! I mean let's join our souls F C And unite our bodies F G And fly with the wings of God C F Whatever you do, don't touch my clitoris Am G If you ring Satan's doorbell, God can't ignore this C F And no prophylactics when you put it in Am D 'Cause birth control's for sluts and it's a sin F C I've emptied my bowels F C And laid out the towels F G I'm ready for romance C F Now I'm praying to the Power that's the Highest Am G But of all of my holes, this ones the driest C F And we can't procreate if we anal copulate Am D And God is OK with sodomy, but only if you're straight F C And I'm staying pure, no matter what F G So I'm OK with everything butt Everything butt Everything butt Whoa-oh Chorus: C F Fuck me in the ass 'cause I love Jesus Am F G The good Lord would want it that way C D F D Get that sweet sensation a rock hard rationalization F G It's just between you and me F G C 'Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see Am D I do whatever The Bible tells me to Am G Except for the parts that I choose to ignore Am G Because they're unrealistic and inconvenient Am D But the rest I live by for sure F G So let's not talk about how the Good Book bans shellfish, polyester and divorce F G And how it condones slavery and killing gays because those parts don't happen of course D F Let's cherry-pick the part about losing my cherry and (line up for ambiguities as omissions?) G Am And circumvent any real sacrifice, and still feel pious in my arbitrary parroted D positions C G Am And don't you dare question my convictions D F And don't look closely at the contradictions C G Am And just focus on the sacrificial crucifixion D F And have faith in its complete jurisdiction D As the only way to measure if you're good or not And when you're in a debate, just say to “have faith” G Because when you're up against logic it's the only card you've got F So close your eyes G Take a deep breath And.. Chorus: C F Fuck me in the ass 'cause I love Jesus Am F G The good Lord would want it that way C D F D Get that sweet sensation an irrational rationalization F G It's just between you and me F G D 'Cause everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see F G Yeah, my chastity belt has locks F G C So sometimes you need to think outside the box