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E Strap them kids in, give em a lil bit of vodka E G A In a cherry coke, we're goin to Oklahoma E To the family reunion for the first time in years E G A It's up at Uncle Slaton's cause he's getting on in years E You know he longer travels but he's still pretty spry E G A He's not much on talk and he's just too mean to die E And they'll be coming down and from Kansas and west Arkansas E G A It'll be one big old party like you've never saw Piano break Uncle Slaton's got his Texan pride Back in the thickets with his Asian bride He's got an Airstream trailer and a Holstein cow Still makes whiskey cause he still knows how He plays that Choctaw Bingo every Friday night You know he had to leave Texas but he won't say why He owns a quarter section up by Lake Eufala Caught a great big ole bluecat on a drifting jug line Sells his hardwood timber to the chipping mill Cooks that crystal meth because his shine don't sell He cooks that crystal meth because his shine don't sell You know he likes that money, he don't mind the smell Piano break My cousin Roscoe, Slaton's oldest boy From his second marriage up in Illinois He's raised in east St Louis by his mama's people Where they do things different, thought he'd come on down He's goin to Dallas, Texas in a semi truck Called from that big McDonald's you know that one that's built up on that Great big old bridge across the Will Rogers Turnpike Took the Big Cabin exit stopped and bought a carton of cigarettes At that Indian smoke shop with the big neon smoke rings And the Cherokee nations, hit Muskogee late that night, somebody Ran the stoplight at the Shawnee Bypass Roscoe tried to miss him but he didn't quite Piano Break Bob and Mae come up from some little town way down by Lake Texoma where he coaches football They were two- A champions for two years running But he says they wont be this year no they wont be this year And he stopped off in Tuscka at that pop knife and gun place Bought a SKS rifle and a couple full cases of that Steel core ammo with the beardam primers From some East Bloc nation that no longer needs em And a Desert Eagle, that's one great big old pistol I mean fifty caliber made by bad-ass Hebrews And some surplus tracers for that old BAR of Slaton's As soon as it gets dark, we're gonna have us a time, we're gonna have us a time Piano Break Ruth Anne and Lynn come from Baxter Springs That's one hell-raisin town way up in southeastern Kansas Got a biker bar next to the lingerie store That's got Rolling Stones lips up there in bright pink neon And they're right downtown where everyone can see em and they burn all night you know they burn all night you know they burn all night Piano break Ruth Anne and Lynn, they wear them cut-off britches And those skinny halters and they're second cousins to me Man I don't care, I want to get between 'em With a great big ole hardon like an old Bois D'arc fence post You could hang a pipe rail gate from do some Sister twisters till the cows come home and we'd be havin us a time Piano Break Uncle Slaton's got his Texan pride Back in the thickets with his Asian bride He's cut that corner pasture into acre lots He sells them owner financed strictly to them He's got no kind of credit cause he knows they're slackers And they'll miss that payment and he'll take it back He plays that choctaw bingo every Friday night He drinks his Johnny Walker at that Club 69 Were gonna strap those kids in give em a lil bit of Benadryl In a Cherry Coke, we're going to Oklahoma Gonna have us a time We're gonna have us a time