Down to the Old Pub Instead ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ by Stephen Lynch from ^”Superhero^‘ (2002) Got this from another site, but the words were incomplete so i filled in the gaps...really good song! another irish classic lol! sorry the formattings a bit screwed but thats how i found it. Credit to: Jon Cutright
not me! INTRO: G ^÷ D - C ^÷ D VERSE 1: G D Lad it^“s your duty to find you a lass C D with child-bearing hips and a pink supple ass G D C D And make her you wife and love her with love so true G D Now, some rivers run high some rivers run low C D When her river runs red then she starting her flow G D C D And it^“s called menstruation and heres what I means to you Em C You will notice her bloomers are spartie? At first G D Stand back, her ovarian dams gonna burst Em C So don^“t be afraid itís a natural thing G D Just wind up some cotton and give her some string C Put the old linens on top of the bed C D get out of the house and go down to the old pub G D C D instead. VERSE 2: G D She^“ll retain her water her breasts will be tender C D And every third word that you say will offend her G D C D Get out of the house and go down to the old pub instead G D And she^“ll want to make love if you do youíre a fool C D Cause you^“ll only end up with a bloody olí tool G D C D Get out of the house, down to the old pub instead Em C And she^“ll want you to sample the fruit of her loins G D But son it^“ll taste like some old rusty coins Em C So turn off the lights boy and take off your hat G D And drop to your knees say a prayer to st pat C Then he^“ll give you the strength to get out of the bed C D And for Ireland^“s sake go down to the old pub G D C D instead. VERSE 3: Em C Now the pub is the place where the lads are a meeting G D When the moon^“s full and the girls are a bleatin Em C The catholic, the protestant even the pagan G D The pub is the place when lady is raggin C So drink of your pint boys and thank your shamrocks C That as men folk we don^“t have to bleed from our cocks C And that we can escape from the lady in red C D And get out of the house and go down to the old pub e]------------3--- B]----------3----- G]--------0------- D]------0--------- A]----2----------- E]--3------------- instead.