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A really funny spoof of the Barenaked Ladies song "One Week" from their album "Stunt". This song is from Weird Al's 1999 album, "Running With Scissors". Very easy song to play, and a lot of fun at that. Not as easy to sing, though! -Standard Tuning- -Capo on the 2nd fret- -The chords are played as follows:- *All chords relative to the capo* G: 320033 Cadd9: x32033 Em7: 022033 Dadd9: xx0230 Bm4: x20230 [Chorus] G Cadd9 It's been one week since we got to see G Cadd9 Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry G Cadd9 Five days since they had the show G Cadd9 With the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack ho G Cadd9 Three days since we heard the tale G Cadd9 About the guy who learned his woman was a she-male G Cadd9 Yesterday it occurred to me G Cadd9 That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer [Verse 1] G Cadd9 Holy cow, d'you see it last week? G Well, they had this one freak Cadd9 Who sucker-punched his whole family G Cadd9 Do you recall when the brawl G Became a total free-for-all Cadd9 And Jerry's in the middle tryin' to be the referee G Cadd9 Hey, see the stripper with the implants G She likes to lap dance Cadd9 And date the boyfriend of her mother G Cadd9 Now here come's Jerry's next guest G And it's a slugfest Cadd9 'Cause it's her trailer trash brother G Cadd9 Nymphomaniac is back on crack G It's like "When Animals Attack" Cadd9 They all exhibit reprehensible behavior G Cadd9 Hit 'em in the nose, tear off their clothes G Step on their toes, that's how it goes Cadd9 They get so violent they have to sign a waiver [Bridge 1] Em7 Dadd9 They're always swearin', cursin', kickin' butt, and pointin' blame Bm4 Cadd9 On the air? They don't care, they've got no shame Em7 Dadd9 There was one guy who I'm sure felt a little strange Bm4 Cadd9 When he found out that his wife had a sex change Em7 Dadd9 They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly Bm4 Cadd9 They have a history of ripping off their shirts [Chorus] It's been one week since they had the fight With the Siamese twins and the transvestite Five days since that awful brawl They still haven't got the blood off the wall It's been three days since the bitter fued Between the KKK and that gay Jewish black dude Yesterday, finally dawned on me I'm spendin' way too much time on that Jerry Springer [Interlude] G, Cadd9 (x7) [Guy] Baby, I've been sleepin' with your sister [Gal] Oh? Well, which one? [Guy] All of them [Gal Oh! Well, I've been sleepin' with your best friend Jake! [Guy] Yah? Well, well me too! [Gal] Oh! [Guy] And I've sleepin' with your dog Woofie! (barking) [Gal] Woofie, you b-tch! [Gal] Well, I'm also sleepin' with your pet goat! (baaahhing) [Guy] That goat doesn't love to you! [Verse 2] Once you start watchin', there's just no stoppin' Your brain shuts down, then your IQ's droppin' Jerry's the king of confrontation He's a sensation He puts the 'sin' in syndication It's totally worthless, like a bad check It's like a train wreck Don't wanna stare but you can't look away Like Sally Jesse he does talk shows But with more weirdos The ratings jumpin' higher everyday If you've seen the show, well then you know It's just as low as you can go The guests are tacky and they're lacking in their hygiene And pretty soon some ugly goon Comes in the room and then it's BOOM In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen [Bridge 2] Well it's the kind of show where people scream obscenities Yankin' hair, throwin' chairs at their hubbies "Jerry! Jerry!" Now the crowd starts their favorite chant Should I turn off my TV? I just can't I have a tendency to watch it religiously I have a history of taping each one [Chorus] It's been one week since the show about Psycho killers with problems they should work out Five days since the big surprise When some loser's wife said she's shtill dating twenty guys Three days wince he interviewed A bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude Yesterday, it occurred to me That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer Tired of wastin' my time on that Jerry Springer I've got way too much class to watch Jerry Springer Come over here and pull on my finger [End on G]