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Whats Funny ukulele

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Strumming
There is no strumming pattern for this song yet. and get +5 IQ
     C                          F              C            F
My show is a little bit silly and a little bit pretentious
       C                     F          Amin                   G
Like Shakespeare's willy or Noam Chomsky wearing a strap on,
     C                       F             C          F
It's also a little bit gay and a little offensive,
       C                    F         Amin                   G
Like Thanksgiving Day or Noam Chomsky wearing a strap on,
                   C                     F
So put your cell phones to vibrate,
                    Amin             G
And put your vibrators to cell phone mode,
C                                   F                             Amin
Welcome to the show it goes a little bit like this,
           G
JOKE... (laugh)... exactly.
C                                 F                              Amin
Welcome to my flow it flows a little bit like this,
           G
With a rap a dist and a,
C                       F           
Swift rap on the wrist a wrap and a kiss,
Amin                                  G
Like Hershey's wrapping a kiss shit.
C                            F
I got a show that'll test ya kids,
         Amin                                G
Then ask one question and the question is,
           C                                                                F
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?
                                                       G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funny?
       C                      F             Amin         G
Oh, Humor is often linked to shared experience,
          C                       
Like a guy gets up and says,
                F                                                  Amin                     G
"have you noticed that public restrooms have really inefficient hand dryers,
           C              F                   Amin
Oh my god, yes I have, HA HA HA,
                   G                        C
Really good point, they should fix that,
     F                            Amin                   G
Its good to know that somebody finally gets me,
                   C                                           F
because my wife divorced me which Sub-Consciously forced me,
    Amin                   G
to lose all sense of self.
         C                            F                         Amin                    G 
So its nice to think about hand dryers and not that cheating whore,
             C                              F                     Amin     G
Because stand up comedy is actually pretty easy,
                  C                        F
If you're an asian comic just get up and say,
                                Amin                    G
"My mothers got the weirdest fucking accent"
               C                   F                                        Amin                G
then just do, a chinese accent, because everybody laughs at the chinese accent,
                     C                                        F
Because they privately thought that your people were laughable,
                         Amin                                 G
And now you've given them the chance to express that in public,
                C                             F                      Amin               G
If you're a musical comic, just give 'em a little weird voice inflection
         C                          F                      Amin       [stop]
Then take a Viagra and slap 'em with a rock hard      misdirection
           C                                                                F
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?
                                                       G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funny?
[stop]
TOURETTE'S!
           C                                                                F
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?
                                                       G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funny? And the audience says
                     C                    F                                        Amin    G
When I was a baby, maybe I laughed at people jiggling keys,
             C
Now I'm older and bolder,
                    F                                         Amin             G
And just get mad 'cause i notice that the keys are to a Hummer,
              C                            F
Fuck my life I don't fuck my wife,
                  Amin                    G
so fuck my wife and fuck my life,
                      C                             F
and my son is gay, but not sitcom gay,
                         Amin                                    G
My daughter's a whore like another girl who used to be her mother,
            C                                     F
But the marriage made her miss merry americana,
Amin                          G
I want a teen without screaming prima-donna,
            C                        F                       Amin     G
But the radical feminists made my wife a man,
            C                    F                        Amin           G
And if I die happy the situation will be autoerotic asphyxiation,
C              F                            Amin   G     
I hate my life and it hates me back, 
                          C
and my friend is black, 
      F                               Amin           G
but I don't know what to call him, so I just call him...
C           F              Amin
"Yo whatup Jamaal?", 
[stop]                                      G
Even though his name is Steve,
  C                                       F
I Hate my job I hate my life, hate my kids I hate my wife,
Amin                                G
Jews would know I do it; Judas beat me to it,
C                                     F               Amin   G
I'm slowly slipping into a solipsistic coma,
A              [just strum angrily a bunch of times]
And I masturbate because I'm the only one who's standards are low enough to fuck me....

.....
           C                                                                F
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?
                                                       G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funny?
[stop]
*pop* It's a boy!
           C                                                                F
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?
                                                       G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funny?
                C    G C
Hopefully this
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