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Cyanide & Happiness song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQu86ztL4po For the C-chord use (0 3 2 0 1 3) [Intro] Am C I wanna share a tale with you about the 'merican dream FM7 Am When all the railroads ran on time and our nation ran on steam Am C Behind the tracks and railroad tyres a hero took command G7 E Am Of connecting every town, he was called... The railroad man... [Chorus] Am Em Railroad man, can you take me to San Fran D Am Can you take me down to Tennessee, across the Rio Grande Am C Can you take me up Mount Everest and into Disneyland G7 E Am Can you get me there on time, oh can you do it? Railroad man... (Railroad man, railroad man) > Uhh, guys? > - Sorry, that song's just too damn catchy > Now you're probably wondering why they called him the railroad man > - I think you explained it pretty well > Well, I'm gonna tell you why! [Verse] Am C They called him that because he built the railroads and was male FM7 Am And they called them railroads 'cause they were like roads, except with rails. Cool, uhh... thanks for clarifying Am C His eyes, they say, were made of coal; his toes were railroad spikes, FM7 Am His trains had seven stars on Yelp and a billion Facebook likes. > That's right... a billion. > - What happened next? > Shut up kid! I'm the one singing! > - I wasn't singi.. [Verse] Am C He built up the tracks, you see; hooked up the USA. FM7 Am And he could have kept on going, if not for that fateful day. Am C These two weird fellas came to town and invented human flight, G7 E Am They called their ship an 'aeroplane' and themselves... the brothers Wright. (brothers Wright) Am C They said: Our planes can transfer man without the need for rail FM7 Am Your industry is dying and your dream's going to fail. Am C So pull up your slacks and pack your tracks and get on out of town; G7 Am We don't need steam or steel beams to get ourselves around." > Railroad Man was none too pleased about that. He said: [Verse] Am C Two Wrights don't make a right, and dang if that ain't wrong! FM7 Am Hey that lyric ain't half-bad, I hope it ends up in a song. Am C If God intended man to fly, we'd be born in a flock; FM7 Am Those Wright Brothers and their flight machine can go and suck a cock! Am C Those Wright Brothers can sniff my biff, they can give my ass a smell; G7 E Am They can lick my shaft from fore to aft and their plane... can burn in hell. > Excuse the language folks but that's what the Railroad Man said. His fucking words. [Verse] Am C The Wright Brothers they challenged him; they said, "You think you're great? FM7 Am Can your steam trains do a loop-de-loop without losing their freight? Am C And if you do it we'll leave town and we won't ever come back; G7 Am But if you fail you can take your rail and shove it up your crack!" > Naww, the hell with you Wright Brothers, the sky's for birds! > -And the ground's for turds, and you sir are the latter word. [Chorus] Am Em Railroad man! Can you rise to their demand? D Am Can your trains do a loop-de-loop, can they do it all on land? FM7 C Wilbur's talking smack about your track, Orville's railing on your rails; G7 E Am Can you beat their ass with steam and brass, and eight-inch steel nails? The Railroad man. > Say, that was a pretty good train-sition! Huh, anyway... [Verse] Am C The Railroad Man he spent a month looping up his track, FM7 Am Then he gathered up the townsfolk and he told 'em to stand back. Am C The train had started chugging, and the loop-de-loop drew near, G7 Am The train it was America, its freight our hopes and fears. Am C Everyone watched in silence, you could hear a needle drop; FM7 Am The train it went straight up the loop and right on to the top... [Bridge] Am C The Railroad Man was finished, he knew he'd had his run, FM7 E Am The airplane beat him fair and square, and the railroad days were done. [Verse] Am C But before he died he wrote a note for anyone that flies; FM7 Am He wrote it all in railroad, so he could read it from the sky. Am C So take a look there down below, written in the land, G7 E Am You'll see the final dying words of... the Railroad Man! (The Railroad Man!) Am The Railroad Man! (The Railroad Man!) The Railroad Man! > Damn you Wright Brothers!