The Naughty Sailors' Alphabet F F F F A is for arsehole all covered in hair G G F F B is for blowjob after which we don't care F G F F C is for cunt which doth glisten and pong F F G F D's diarrhea, that's shit all gone wrong Chorus F F F F Merrily, merrily, so merry sail we G G F F No mortal on Earth Like a sailor at sea F G F F Heave away, haul away, the ship roles along F F G F Give a sailor his gobble and there's fuck all goes wrong E is for eunuch with only one ball F's the poor fucker that's got none at all G is for gobble which we've already had H is for the handfull which can't be that bad Chorus I is for incest, that's fucking your mum J is for jobfull, that's one up the arm K is for knickers all torn up and stamped on L is for locked up with clamps on my Hampton Chorus M is for morals, we hope you have none N's for the nasty that belongs to the nun O is for orifice, that's long for a whole P is for penis, that's prick to a prole Chorus Q is for question that says do you fuck? R is the answer like hard fucking luck! S is for shit, what a foul fucking lot! T's tits and turds, and tossers, and twots! Chorus U is for uniform, preferably school V's for vagina, that's cunt only cool W's for wanking, that's caning our cocks X is the experiment of fucking your socks Chorus Y is for y-fronts all skid marked and grimy Z is for zollocks, it's wrong but it's rhymy There's butter and cheese and bread on the shelf If you want anymore then go fuck yourself!