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Cold Blooded Christmas ukulele

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There is no strumming pattern for this song yet. and get +5 IQ
Alrighty, this is my first tab so go easy on me.

C                       G
It was late at night on Christmas eve
C                                G
I was dreaming of the soft white snow
C                                G
I was awoken by a noise near the Christmas tree
C           G     F   G   C
What it was I did not know
C                          G
It was Santa Clause he was bringing me some gifts
C                   G             
Unfortunately I did not know that
C                     G         
So I quietly snuck up behind him
C              G         F      G    C
And I shot him five times in the back
C           C           C
It went Pow pow pow pow pow
C           C           C
He said "what the fuck ow ow ow"
C            C          C              C
Then I shot him three more times in the head
C            C              F           G
Pieces of his brain flew out and he was dead
C                         G                 
That's when I noticed his blood-soaked beard
C                            G                 
And his red suit filled with bullet holes
C                          G            
I said "oh my god I killed santa clause
C                 G       F    G         C
I'm not going to jail for this asshole"
C                      G           
So I went to my shed and I got my saw
C                          G        
And I started to choppipty chop chop
C                               G                 
I started with his arms then his legs then his head
C                 G        F      G      C
And then the torso was a really long job
C                      C            
And the blood went spurt spurt spurt
C                  C         C
It was really hard work work work
C           C                C 
It was hard cutting through his spine
C          C        F       G       
I must have vomited sixteen times
C                G                       
I burnt all the pieces in my fireplace
C                                 G         
The smell of burning human flesh filled my nose
C                           G           
Eleven hours later there was nothing left
C           G      F      G       C  
And that's when I heard my telephone
C                        G                
It was Auntie Jean looking for Uncle Bob
C                         G                        
She said "He left the house dressed as Santa Clause
C                       G           
But he didn't come home last night
C                  G     F     G     C
Have you seen him god I hope he's alright" 

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