[VERSE 1] C Get out of bed C But don't wonder how the blood got there (Good morning) F If Steve Martin violated you in your sleep again F You will not care C 'Cause there's a place you can escape to mentally C Where only silliness is making forced entry F G For the purpose of self-preservation C Here at Alfred's Playhouse! [VERSE 2] C It's a fantasy world of fun where reality's distorted F Where a manchild goes to forget he was unsuccessfully aborted (It's kind of like liquor) C Your perception is changed like magic C So you can flee when the real world causes havoc F G It's wacky denial!! G C Here at Alfred's Playhouse! [BRIDGE] F Stalin's signing death lists G The Eggburt's taking meth hits and C Gumby and a horse are lying somewhere F The Wisdom Jar's on acid G C The frozen peas have all gone rancid, so we'll probably need to buy some more peas F Beria's got his truncheon G ELECTRIC CORDS FOR OUR LUNCHEON!! C Dishwasher discusses Marx over Cocktails F Burnt Child and Torso who are with G Chewy try and force you to C Rent us The Sound of Music C No, I don't want to F Rent us The Sound of Music G No, I don't want to [VERSE 3] C The friends in your playhouse will always love and be around you F They won't leave you at Goodwill or when you're in the tub, try and drown you C You don't have to feel that guy's sticky stuff in your hair C Just clap your heels 3 times, and you're away from there F So forget about the humiliation and shame F Your innocence is not being snatched from you G Because you're here putting tape on your face and trying on silly hats C AT ALFRED'S PLAYHOUSE!!!!!!!!!