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Join Islam - Sye Ten chords

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Author
Difficulty
Strumming
There is no strumming pattern for this song yet. and get +5 IQ
A really simplified version of: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQBgrUObbHw

F
I’ll share with you the tale of when
Dm
I met some baggy-trousered gentlemen
                Gm   C         Am    D
They spoke with flair and with panache
Gm                      C       C7     
They all had beards but no moustache

F
They had a book called the Qur'an
Dm
containing some divine and cosmic plan
           Gm     C   Am       D
And then I cringed in fear and dread
   Gm                C        C7
as one closed up his book and said

F
Just do it, just do it Do it before you die
C7
Join Islam, come on man
F
Don't upset the man in the sky
Bb
The consequences are dire
        F              
You'll really piss him off
               D7
and then he'll burn you in the fire
G7         C7          F
Just do it, just do it now!


F
So I said: I can't do it, I can't do it
C7
I really don't believe in God
Your passion and your fashion
F
I really think are really rather odd
Bb
No derision It's my decision
      F                        D7
and I don't like the idea of a circumcision
G7             C7           F
I won’t do it. I won’t join Islam.

F
And they said: Join Islam
Read the Qur'an
C7
Linguistically it’s sublime
I’ve checked and
It’s perfect
F
In every way and for all time
Bb
It’s righteous It has no likeness
         F                    D7
Here’s a verse with forty-two rhetorical devices
G7         C          F
Join Islam Just do it now!

F
And I said: I can’t do it
I can’t do it
C7
I’ve never felt the need to pray
On a carpet
with a view of men’s arses
F
I’m sorry I don’t pray that way
Bb
I’m at a disadvantage
I can’t read the language
      F                         D7
All I want is lager and a bacon sandwich
G7            C            F
I can’t do it I won’t join Islam

F
And he said: I won’t boast
but first and foremost
                            C7
ask yourself what if you’re wrong.
You believe that something
came from nothing?
F
My faith could never be that strong!
Bb
It’s not pragmatic
It’s un-Quranic
F                                 D7
It violates the second law of thermodynamics
G7              C                 F
Think about it. But don't take to long!

F                                       
And I said: I can’t do it I can’t do it
                    C7
Not without some evidence
I’m not biassed
Just give me science
F
None of you are making sense
Bb
It’s not for me, man
Leave me be, man
    F                                 D7
I’d rather pour a glass and drink my daddy’s semen
G7             C7           F
I can’t do it. I won’t join Islam

F
And they said: "Brother makes a good point"
Join islam
                     C7
But only if you feel inclined
Our obsession
is freedom of expression
Just say whatever’s on your mind
Bb
It’s splendid
We commend it,
    F                             D7
But we reserve the right to never be offended
G7          C          F
Join islam, Join islam now

F                        
And I said: I can’t do it
I can’t do it
  C7                   
I believe in equality
It’s a given:
rights for women
F
have no place in your ideology
Bb
No integration
No education
    F                             D7
The only thing your females get is genital mutilation
G7
That’s final
C            F
I won’t join Islam

F
And they said: Join Islam
Just do it
    C7
The moment is so opportune
Our practice:
To blacklist
F
every novel and cartoon
Bb
Keep silent
We’re strident,
      F                            D7
We’ll chop the head off anyone who says we’re violent,
G7          C          F
Join Islam ,Just do it NOW!

F
And I said: I can’t do it 
I can’t do it 
C7
Censorship I Despise
It’s fair
to declare the
F
universal right to criticize

Bb
I don’t want Sharia
round here
    F                               D7
I’d rather pack my bags and move to North Korea
G7            C            F
I won’t do it I won’t join Islam

F
And they said: Join Islam Just do it
C7
Western women are all whores
Here’s my sister
No man has kissed her
F
Join us and she’ll be all yours
Bb
She’s no shirker
A real hard worker
        F                                D7
She’ll show you everything she’s got beneath her burqa
G7          C          F
Just do it! Join Islam now!

F           N.C
And I said: ALRIGHT!!
F
I’ll do it
      C7
I’m a red-blooded male
It’s intriguing
I’m pleading
F
to find out what’s behind her veil
Bb
To Allah
I give my shahada
    F                           D7     
I’m in a state of frenzy and a lustful lather
G7          C          F
I’ll do it! I’ll do it now!

F
I’ve done it
I’m ready
C7
to bang her like a man possessed oh!
I’m burning
I’m yearning
F 
As she slowly gets undressed
Uh oh!
Bb
I stammer
I piss my pyjamas
     F                                    D7          
Cos she’s bog-eyed and her face is like a bag of hammers
G7             C             F
I can’t do it, I wanna leave Islam!

F
Allahu akbar, It says here
C7
Terms and conditions apply
One small penalty
for apostasy
F
Leave and you must die

Bb
There's no compulsion in religion
    F                             D7
But revoking your shahada gets you crucifixion
G7             C              F
You've done it You've done it now!
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