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A Guide To Love Loss And Desperation album chords

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A Guide To Love Loss And Desperation 2007 by The Wombats

Songs:
1.) Tales Of Girls Boys And Marsupials
2.) Kill The Director
3.) Moving To New York
4.) Lost In The Post
5.) Party In A Forest
6.) School Uniforms
7.) Here Comes The Anxiety
8.) Lets Dance To Joy Division
9.) Backfire At The Disco
10.) Little Miss Pipedream
11.) Dr. Suzzanne Mattox PHD
12.) Patricia The Stripper
13.) My First Wedding



Song 1:  Tales Of Girls Boys And Marsupials
No Capo




A                  C#m                D      E
Tales of girls and boys and girls and marsupials
A                  C#m                D      E
Tales of girls and boys and girls and marsupials

A                  C#m                D      E
Tales of girls and boys and girls and marsupials
A                  C#m                D      E
Tales of girls and boys and girls and marsupials


(end on A)



Song 2: Kill The Director
No Capo



[Verse 1]
E
I've met someone that makes me feel seasick
B
Oh what a skill to have
F#
Oh what a skill to have
E
So many skills that make her distinctive
B
But they're not mine to have
F#
No they're not mine
E
Whenever she looks i read the nearest paper
B
No i don't care about the soaps
F#                                                          E
No i don't care about the soaps
B                                            F#
Though i'm acting like i'm in an Eastenders episode

[Chorus]
E   D#m
B
If this is a rom-com
F#                           E    D#m
Kill the director
B
If this is a rom-com
F#                               E
Kill the director please

[Verse 2]
E                                                      D#m
Carrots help us see much better in the dark
B                                   F#
Don't talk to girls; they'll break your heart
E                                                D#m
And this is my head and this is my spout
B                             F#
They work together; they can't figure anything out
E
So with the angst of a teenage band
B                                       F#                                        E
Here's another song about a gender i'll never understand
B                                        F#
Here's another song about a gender i'll never understand

[Chorus]
E   D#m
B
If this is a rom-com
F#                     E    D#m
Kill the director
B
If this is a rom-com
F#                    E    D#m
Kill the director
B
If this is a rom-com
F#                              B
Kill the director please

[Outro]
E             D#m
This is no Bridget Jones
G#m        A
This is no Bridget Bridget
E             D#m
This is no Bridget Jones
G#m        A
This is no Bridget Bridget
E             D#m
This is no Bridget Jones
G#m        A
This is no Bridget Bridget
E             D#m
This is no Bridget Jones
G#m        A
This is no Bridget Bridget
E             D#m
This is no Bridget Jones
G#m        A
This is no Bridget Bridget
E             D#m
This is no Bridget Jones
G#m        A
This is no Bridget
E             D#m
Bridget Jones
A          E



Song 3: Moving To New York
No Capo



[Verse 1]

Dm        Am      C        G
I've just had the craziest week,
       Dm    Am           C              G
Like a party bag of lies, booze and then deceit.
      Dm         Am            C              G
And I don't know why I want to voice this out loud,
Dm              Am       C   G
It's theraputic somehow.


[Chorus]
       F             C                 Am               G
So I'm moving to New York cos I've got problems with my sleep,
          Dm      Am              C               G
And we're not the same and I will wear that on my sleeve.
       F             C                 Am             G
So I'm moving to New York cos I've got issues with my sleep,
           Dm             Am     C              G           F
Looks like Christmas came early, Christmas came early for me.


[Verse 2]

      Dm       Am                   C            G
I put one foot forward and ended up thirty yards back.
         Dm     Am                 C                  G
And am I losing touch or am I just completely off the track?
      Dm         Am            C              G
And I don't know why I want to voice this out loud,
Dm              Am       C   G
It's theraputic somehow.


[Chorus]
       F             C                 Am               G
So I'm moving to New York cos I've got problems with my sleep,
          Dm      Am              C               G
And we're not the same and I will wear that on my sleeve.
       F             C                 Am             G
So I'm moving to New York cos I've got issues with my sleep,
           Dm             Am     C              G           F
Looks like Christmas came early, Christmas came early for me.



Song 4: Lost In The Post
Capo 2




[Verse]
A                              Bm               D
I should have known you didn't have the time, my dear
   A               Bm                D
To let this twenty-something bring you down with his list of fears
  A                  Bm                D
I'd like to think we had some fun times though
            Bm                             D
It's just my inability to think outside the box, I know


[Chorus]
       A                               D
She was signed, sealed and lost in the post
Bm                A                   D
Gone where all the letters we write to Santa go
              A  Bm  D
(Go to Santa, go!)


[Verse]
A                Bm               D
I could see your interest wane, my dear
A          Bm                D
She wanted Mary Poppins and I took her to King Lear
A                 Bm             D
Yeah, we had some spills, shall I say
              Bm                                         D
And I thought you were going to leave, but not that you'd evaporate


[Chorus]
       A                               D
She was signed, sealed and lost in the post
Bm                A                   D
Gone where all the letters we write to Santa go
              A  Bm  D
(Go to Santa, go!)


[Bridge]
       A
Please go to Santa, go to Santa, go, go, go....... x16


[Chorus]
       A                               D
She was signed, sealed and lost in the post
Bm                A                   D
Gone where all the letters we write to Santa go
              A  Bm  D
(Go to Santa, go!)

A


Song 5: Party In A Forest (Where's Laura?)
No Capo


[Verse]

   B                     G#m
Am I in a scene from 'Midsummer Nights Dream'?
          E                            F#
I thought raves like these died in the 90's?
    B                    G#m             E     F#
The forest is breathing along with us tonight

B                      G#m
Upper class thugs take middle class drugs
       E                  F#
And we all get lowered in size
        B                      G#m            E     F#
This is not my scene, I should not be here tonight


[Chorus]

B      G#m
Laura, ooh-oh ooh-oh
B      G#m
Laura, ooh-oh ooh-oh
B              G#m            E     F#
Laura, you can get me home tonight


[Verse]

B                    G#m               E                   F#
Trance music bangs a comical dance of cardboard boxes and fish
          B                     G#m             E         F#
We're the fairies from hell and we're all on a Deathwish

        B                     G#m
This is not my scene, this is killing me
        E                 F#
I don't want to be here tonight
        B                           G#m            E       F#
And the girl who can save me's well across the Pennines


[Chorus]

B      G#m
Laura, ooh-oh ooh-oh
B      G#m
Laura, ooh-oh ooh-oh
B              G#m            E     F#
Laura, you can get me home tonight



Song 6: School Uniforms
No Capo


[Intro]
C# F# x2

[Verse]
C#                    F#
It all started on the school bus
D#m      G#
You were 9 and I was 10
C#                 F#
Remember you had a Walkman
D#m             G#
All I had was a middle part and a pen

[Pre-Chorus]

C#  F#
      Oh sweet Louise
C#  F#
      Whatever happened to her?


[Verse]
C#               F#
Then is all went downhill
D#M      G#
You grew tall I stayed the same
C#                  F#
I guess that's just puberty
D#m                G#
Making us boys all play a losing game

[Pre-Chorus]

C#  F#
      Oh sweet Louise

[Chorus]
         F#               Fm          D#m
I always found it hard to work things through
             F#              Fm
Those school uniforms made a joke
       D#m
Made a joke of me and you
I'm glad I'm not back in school

C# F# x2

[Verse]
C#               F#
She got an older boyfriend (how could she?)
D#m   G#
Had a beard smoked Marlboro red
C#        F#
How can I compete with that? (how can he?)
  D#m                   G#
I don't even know the location of the bike sheds

[Pre-Chorus]

C#  F#
      Oh sweet Louise

[Chorus]
         F#               Fm          D#m
I always found it hard to work things through
             F#              Fm
Those school uniforms made a joke
       D#m
Made a joke of me and you
I'm glad I'm not back in school


C#
I remember short skirts
Long hair                      x16
My hormones flying everywhere

[Chorus]
         F#               Fm          D#m
I always found it hard to work things through
             F#              Fm
Those school uniforms made a joke
       D#m
Made a joke of me and you
I'm glad I'm not back in school


C# F# x2

End On C#



Song 8: Let's Dance To Joy Division
No Capo


[Verse 1]
B
I'm back in Liverpool,
     Ebm              A#  A
And everything seems the same,
                                 E
But I worked something out last night,
                               B
That changed this little boy's brain,

A small piece of advice,
      Ebm                  A#      A
That took twenty-two years in the make,
                            E
And I will break it for you now
                  A       E                     A        B
Please learn from my mistake, please learn from my mistake.

[Chorus]
B
Let's dance to Joy Division
    F#            G#  A
And celebrate the irony,
                    E
Everything is going wrong,
                  B
But we're so happy

Let's dance to Joy Division,
    F#                     G#    A
And raise our glass to the ceiling,
                            E
Cause this could all go so wrong,
                                           B
But we're just so happy, yeah we're so happy,

[Verse 2]
B
So if you're ever feeling down,
 Ebm                       A# A
Grab your purse and take a taxi

To the darkest side of town
  E                B
That's where we'll be,

And we will wait for you,
   Ebm                   A#  A
And lead you through the dancefloor,
              E
Up to the DJ booth,
              A      E                  A      B
You know what to ask for, you know what to ask for.

[Chorus]
B
Go ask for Joy Division,
    F#           G#  A
And celebrate the irony,
                     E
Everything is going wrong
                 B
But we're so happy
B
Go ask for Joy Division,
    F#                    G#  A
And raise our glass to the ceiling,
                           E
Cause this could all go so wrong,
                         B
But we're so happy, so happy,

[Bridge]
B
So let the love tear us apart;
     Ebm                    A#  A
I've found a cure for a broken heart,
                 E
Let it tear us apart,
                         B
Let the love tear us apart;
     Ebm                    A#  A
I've found a cure for a broken heart,
               E                      B
Let it tear us apart,(Let it tear us apart)
B
So let the love tear us apart;
     Ebm                    G#  A
I've found a cure for a broken heart,
                     E                  B
Let it tear us apart,(Let it tear us apart)
B
Let the love tear us apart;
     Ebm                    A#   A
I've found a cure for a broken heart,
               E
Let it tear us apart,
A              E
Let it tear us apart,
A              E
Let it tear us apart.

[Chorus]
B
Let's dance to Joy Division,
     F#           A#  A
And celebrate the irony,
                     E
Everything is going wrong
                 B
But we're so happy
B
Let's dance to Joy Division,
    F#                    G#  A
And raise our glass to the ceiling,
                             E
Cause this could all go so wrong,
                                     B
But we're so happy, yeah we're so happy,

[Outro]
So happy,
Yeah we're so happy,
So happy,
Yeah we're so happy.



Song 9: Backfire At The Disco
No Capo



[Verse 1]

A
It's 8 O'clock and I'm feeling fine
    F#m
I'm out on a date tonight
     D
In a candle lit restaurant
                 A
Down by the riverside
A
Everythings going alright I guess
    F#m
She took down my number and home address
D
Everything was going perfectly
A
Until

[Chorus]

 A
It backfired at the disco
    F#m
she slapped me at the disco
  D                           A    E
I did something I'll never forget

[Verse 2]

         A
It was a chat up line built not to impress
       F#m
More a sleezy remark on her whorish dress
D                                       A
My wires crossed like they'd never done before
          A
Well it's 3 O'clock and I'm feeling shite
    F#m
I'm going home alone tonight
D
Everything was going perfectly
A
Until

[Chorus]

 A
It backfired at the disco
    F#m
she slapped me at the disco
  D                           A
I did something I'll never forget
      A
Yeah it backfired at the disco
    F#m
she slapped me at the disco
  D                           A
I made a move when it was well out of context

[Outro]
A
It backfired at the disco
F#m
We were dancing at the disco
D
It backfired at the disco
A
We were dancing at the disco
A
Yeah it backfired at the disco
F#m
When she slapped me at the disco
D
It backfired at the disco
A
We were dancing at the disco

Song 10: Little Miss Pipedream
No Capo

E                                                              A
I think the postman intercepts everything I try and send to you
E                                                       A
'Cause he's infatuated, and he's the fulcrum between us two
B                             A                                           E
And I can't say I'd blame him 'cause I'd cheat a priest just to get to you
E
(Doo-doo doo do doo-doo doo do doo-doo doo doo do)

E
She works in a dental practice, nine-til-five how does she manage?
A                                         E
Considering her nights don't pass out til three
B                  A                                        E
So I guess that flossing is the last thing in her health routine
E
(Doo-doo doo do doo-doo doo do doo-doo doo doo doo do)

    A                          B                                 A
And I don't mind that she gets hammered and goes home with other guys
A                                                              E
There's no jealousy, 'cause she's little miss pipedream fantasy
                 A
(Ooh-wooh-wa-ooh oooh oooh oooh oooh ooh-wa-ooh oooh oooh oooh ooh)
                 E
(Ooh-wooh-wa-ooh oooh oooh oooh oooh ooh-wa-ooh oooh oooh oooh ooh)
                 A
(Ooh-wooh-wa-ooh oooh oooh oooh oooh ooh-wa-ooh oooh oooh oooh ooh)
                 E
(Ooh-wooh-wa-ooh oooh oooh oooh oooh ooh-wa-ooh oooh oooh oooh ooh)

E         A           B                  C#m                   A
I saw her slam back tequilas like Oliver Reid on an Irish stag do
A                B                     C#m                               A
And I'll wait if you stay 'cause foggy London town's not built for me or you
A                                           E
Don't leave miss pipedream 'cause I love you
E
(Doo-doo doo do doo-doo doo do doo-doo doo doo doo do)
                 A
(Ooh-wooh-wa-ooh oooh oooh oooh oooh ooh-wa-ooh oooh oooh oooh ooh)
                 E
(Ooh-wooh-wa-ooh oooh oooh oooh oooh ooh-wa-ooh oooh oooh oooh ooh)

    A                          B                 C#m             A
And I don't mind that she gets hammered and goes home with other guys
           A                       B                 C#m             A
There's no jealousy, though she'll grind it out with friends but not with me
A                                E
She's my little pipedream fantasy
E
(Doo-doo doo do doo-doo doo do doo-doo doo doo doo do)
                 A
(Ooh-wooh-wa-ooh oooh oooh oooh oooh ooh-wa-ooh oooh oooh oooh ooh)
                 E
(Ooh-wooh-wa-ooh oooh oooh oooh oooh ooh-wa-ooh oooh oooh oooh ooh)
                 A
(Ooh-wooh-wa-ooh oooh oooh oooh oooh ooh-wa-ooh oooh oooh oooh ooh)
                 E
(Ooh-wooh-wa-ooh oooh oooh oooh oooh ooh-wa-ooh oooh oooh oooh ooh)


Song 11: Dr. Suzanne Mattox PHD
No Capo


[Intro]
D

[Verse 1]
     D
 I'm going to the doctors on Friday

 I'm going to the doctors on Friday
              F#m                            Em
 They make me better, they give me pills and all sorts,
    D
 My gp's going to help me this Friday

 Her name's Suzanne and she's got a Phd
                      F#m
 And I think that she likes me,
              Em
 Well she's always smiling,

[Chorus]
G                F#m          Em
 Don't think I'm wasting your time
G              F#m            Em
 This is not a drama piece of mine

 I'm not here to tell you lies
                                     D
 Suzanne, you better believe me this time

[Post-Chorus]
A
 Help me Suzanne, help help me Suzanne!
Em
 Help me Suzanne, help help me Suzanne!
D

[Verse 2]
     D
 She told me to stop smoking but I'll do it anyways

 She told me to stop smoking but I'll do it anyways
         F#m                      Em
 I don't care now, I can't see it hurt me
     D
 She told me to stop drinking but I'll do it anyway

 She told me to stop drinking but I'll do it anyway
         F#m                         Em
 I don't care now, maybe I've died inside

[Chorus]
G                F#m          Em
 Don't think I'm wasting your time
G              F#m            Em
 This is not a drama piece of mine

 I'm not here to tell you lies
                                    D
 Suzanne you better believe me this time

[Post-Chorus]
A
 Help me Suzanne, help help me Suzanne!
Em
 Help me Suzanne, help help me Suzanne!
D
A
 Help me Suzanne, help help me Suzanne!
Em
 Help me Suzanne, help help me Suzanne!
D

D
A    G
D

[Post-Chorus]
A
 Help me Suzanne, help help me Suzanne!
Em
 Help me Suzanne, help help me Suzanne!
A
 Help me Suzanne, help help me Suzanne!
Em
 Help me Suzanne, help help me Suzanne!
D


Song 12: Patricia The Stripper
No Capo

A
She works downtown in an unmarked bar, flyin' 'round poles
                                    D
She always gave me the fright of my life
A
I didn't mean to get involved it was the alcohol
                            D
Mixed with an empty feeling inside
            Bm
It's such a bad idea
   D                      E
To fall in love with a 'lady of the night'

A
(ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)(ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

                                 D
Why didn't God give her two left feet
Bm                D
Then she couldn't run away from me

A
Months go by and I'm alone in bed
                                                                D
While she's greasing up for when the businessmen and lawyers arrive
A
I've got to wear a beard, a suit and tie
                                               D
To get past the door if I want to see my girl tonight

        Bm
I go to all this effort
               D                   E
Just to see my fair Patricia going home with some other guy

A
(ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)(ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

                                 D
Why didn't God give her two left feet
Bm                D
Then she couldn't run away from me

A
(ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)(ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

                                 D
Why didn't God give her two left feet
Bm                D
Then she couldn't run away from me

Bm             D              A           E
She thinks I'm sad and that's alright
Bm              D                  A         E
But she doesn't hate me so there's my little alibi
Bm                      D                 A
I can't, I can't leave, I can't, I can't, I can't
         E              Bm
She's my coked up Botox girl

A         E
Patricia, Patricia
    A                                    D
Oh, Patricia the stripper you are my sunshine
    Bm                               A
So, why can't you come home with me tonight

A
(ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)(ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

                                 D
Why didn't God give her two left feet
Bm                D
Then she couldn't run away from me

Song 13: My First Wedding
No Capo

[Intro]
G
G G C A# A
G G C F

[Verse 1]
G                               C             A# A
This is my first wedding and I hope it is my last
G                            C                        F
Things would be fantastic if me and the bride didn't have a past
G                                C              A# A
So I stand by the buffet and submerse myself in brie
G                                           C                   F
I'm tactically positioning here because the bar is near and the champagne's for free

[Instrumental 1]
G G C A# A
G G C F
Am G

[Verse 2]
G                               C             A# A
This is my first wedding and I hope it passes quick,
G                                     C                     F
If I've got no feelings for her then why is my stomach feeling so sick?
G                                    C            A# A
As they dance to their soppy song I pray it isn't love
G                                       C                  F
Because she's my heartless bitch that I just can't seem to get enough of

[Instrumental 2]
G G C A# A
Oh oh oh oh
G G C F
Oh oh oh oh

[Chorus]
G                                C             A# A
She's not that beautiful, she's not that beautiful!
G                                       C        A# A
She'll steal your mind first then your car
G                                C             A# A
She's not that beautiful, she's not that beautiful!
G                             C*             A#*          A*
Blame it on an evil twist of fate, that she created from the start

[Verse 3]
G                                   C              A# A
Just one more single malt then it's off to bed for me
G                                 C                     F
My head is spinning round and my legs are break-dancing (He's pissed!)
G                                   C                 A# A
I only meant to say farewell but I spilt more than my drink
G                                           C               F
I can't remember exactly what I said but I remember being chased up the street!

[Instrumental 3]
G G C A# A
Oh oh oh oh
G G C F
Oh oh oh oh
C F C F
Oh oh oh oh

[Chorus]
G                                C             A# A
She's not that beautiful, she's not that beautiful!
G                                       C        A# A
She'll steal your mind first then your car
G                                C             A# A
She's not that beautiful, she's not that beautiful!
G                             C*             A#*          A*
Blame it on an evil twist of fate, that she created from the start

G                                C             A# A
She's not that beautiful, she's not that beautiful!

            
            
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