ASSHOLE SONG Intro: Spoken D Well I was drivin' down I-95 the other night. G When somebody nearly cut me right off the road. A I decided it wasn't gonna do any good to get mad. D So I wrote a song about him instead. It goes like this... D Were you born an asshole? G Or did you work at it your whole life? A Either way it worked out fine G D 'Cause you're an asshole tonight. D Yes you're an A S S H O L E... G And don't you try to blame it on me. A You deserve all the credit. G D You're an asshole tonight. D You were an asshole yesterday. G You're an asshole tonight. A And I've got a feelin' G D You'll be an asshole the rest of your life. D And I was talkin' to your mother G just the other night. A I told her I thought you were an asshole. G D She said, "Yes. I think you're right." D And all your friends are assholes G 'Cause you've known them your whole life. A And somebody told me G D You've got an asshole for a wife. D Were you born an asshole? G Or did you work at it your whole life? A Either way it worked out fine G A7 D 'Cause you're an aaaass... hole tonight.