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When The Old Dun Cow Caught Fire ukulele

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Some friends and I in a public house
      G                          Am 
Were playing a game of chance one night
       G      F     E 
When into the pub a fireman ran
    F               E 
His face all chalky white.
"What’s up,” says Brown, "Have you seen a ghost,
             G             Am 
Or have you seen your Aunt Mariah?"
            G       F               E                             
"Me Aunt Mariah be buggered!" says he,
      F                E        
"The bleedin’ pub’s on fire!"


And there was Brown, upside down
 G                                Am 
Lappin’ up the whiskey from the floor
G                   F       E 
"Booze, booze!" The firemen cried
    F                        E 
As they came knockin’ at the door (clap clap)
Oh don’t let ‘em in till it’s all drunk up
     G               Am 
And somebody shouted Maclntyre! MACINTYRE!
       G          F        E 
And we all got blue-blind paralytic drunk
         F       E          Am
When the Old Dun Cow caught fire.

"Fire," says Brown, "What a bit of luck.
G               Am 
Everybody follow me
         G           F              E 
We’ll go down to the cellar, if the fire’s not there
           F                E 
Then we’ll have a grand old spree."
So we went on down after good old Brown
        G              Am 
For booze we could not miss
       G           F          E 
And we hadn’t been there five minutes before
F                 E
We were all quite pissed.

(Repeat Chorus)
Then, Smith walked over to the port wine tub
    G                        Am 
And gave it just a few hard knocks (clap clap)
     G      F             E 
He started takin’ off his pantaloons
     F                 E 
Likewise his shoes and socks
"Hold on, "says Brown, "that ain’t allowed
   G                Am 
Ye canna do that in here
         G       F               E 
Don’t go washin’ trotters in the port wine tub
        F                 E
When we got some low carb beer.

(Repeat Chorus)

And then there came to the old back door
    G                  Am 
The Vicar of our local church
         G      F        E 
And when he had seen our drunken ways
     F                 E 
He began to scream and curse
"You drunken sods, you heathen clods
       G                  Am 
You’ve taken to a drunken spree!
        G        F        E 
And you drank up all that Benedictine Brandy
        F                      E
And you didn’t save a drop for me!"

(Repeat Chorus)

And then there came a mighty crash
  G                       Am 
Half the bloody roof gave way 
        G      F              E 
We were almost drowned in the firemen’s hose
    F             E 
But we were gonna stay
So we got some tacks and some old wet sacks
       G                  Am 
And we nailed ourselves inside
       G         F            E 
And we sat there drinkin’ the finest rum
      F             E
‘Till we was bleary-eyed

(Repeat Chorus)

Later that night when the fire was out
   G                       Am 
We came up from the cellar below
     G       F          E 
Our pub was burned, our booze was drunk
        F                    E 
And our heads were a-hangin’ low
"Oh look,” says Brown, with a look quite queer
          G                    Am 
It seemed something caught his ire
       G         F        E 
"We’ve gotta get down to Murphy’s pub
   F             E
It closes on the hour!"

(Repeat Chorus)

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