Down To The Old Pub Instead Chords

Down to the Old Pub Instead
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
by Stephen Lynch
from "Superhero" (2002)
 
 
[Intro]
 
G  D - C  D
 
 
[Verse 1]
 
G                      D
Lad, it's your duty to find you a lass
     C                        D
with child-bearing hips and a pink supple ass
    G                     D                 C     D
And make her you wife and love her with love so true
          G                      D
Now, some rivers run high, some rivers run low
         C                         D
When her river runs red then she's starting her flow
         G                       D                       C    D
And it's called menstruation and here's what it means to you
         Em                      C
You will notice her bloomers are spotty at first
      G                 D
Stand back, her ovarian dam's gonna burst
   Em                       C
So don't be afraid, it's a natural thing
     G                      D
Just wind up some cotton and give her some string
C
Put the old linens on top of the bed
    C                        D
Get out of the house and go down to the old pub
  G     D   C   D
instead.
 
 
[Verse 2]
 
       G                      D
She'll retain her water, her breasts will be tender
    C                         D
And every third word that you say will offend her
    G                       D                     C      D
Get out of the house and go  down to the old pub instead
           G                          D
And she'll want to make love, if you do you're a fool
             C                  D
Cause you'll only end up with a bloody o'tool
    G                    D                     C      D
Get out of the house, down to the old pub instead
           Em                     C
And she'll want you to sample the fruit of her loins
    G                         D
But son it'll taste like some old rusty coins
   Em                          C
So turn off the lights boy and take off your hat
    G                          D
And drop to your knees, say a prayer to St Pat
     C
That he'll give you the strength to get out of the bed
        C                  D
And for Ireland's sake go down to the old pub
  G     D   C   D
instead.
 
 
[Verse 3]
 
        Em                         C
Now the pub is the place where the lads are a meeting
G                            D
When the moon's full and the girls are a bleedin'
    Em                         C
The catholic, the protestant, even the pagan
    G                          D
The pub is the place when lady is raggin'
   C
So drink of your pint boys, and thank your shamrocks
        C
That as men folk we don't have to bleed from our cocks
         C
And that we can escape from the lady in red
        C                       D
And get out of the house and go down to the old pub
 
e|------------3---|
B|----------3-----|
G|--------0-------|
D|------0---------|
A|----2-----------|
E|--3-------------|
  instead.
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