Down to the Old Pub Instead ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ by Stephen Lynch from ^ÓSuperhero^Ô (2002) Got this from another site, but the words were incomplete so i filled in the gaps...really good song! another irish classic lol! sorry the formattings a bit screwed but thats how i found it. Credit to: Jon Cutright not me! [Intro] G ^Ö D - C ^Ö D [Verse 1] G D Lad it's your duty to find you a lass C D with child-bearing hips and a pink supple ass G D C D And make her you wife and love her with love so true G D Now, some rivers run high some rivers run low C D When her river runs red then she starting her flow G D C D And it's called menstruation and heres what I means to you Em C You will notice her bloomers are spartie? At first G D Stand back, her ovarian dams gonna burst Em C So don't be afraid it’s a natural thing G D Just wind up some cotton and give her some string C Put the old linens on top of the bed C D get out of the house and go down to the old pub G D C D instead. [Verse 2] G D She'll retain her water her breasts will be tender C D And every third word that you say will offend her G D C D Get out of the house and go down to the old pub instead G D And she'll want to make love if you do you’re a fool C D Cause you'll only end up with a bloody ol’ tool G D C D Get out of the house, down to the old pub instead Em C And she'll want you to sample the fruit of her loins G D But son it'll taste like some old rusty coins Em C So turn off the lights boy and take off your hat G D And drop to your knees say a prayer to st pat C Then he'll give you the strength to get out of the bed C D And for Ireland's sake go down to the old pub G D C D instead. [Verse 3] Em C Now the pub is the place where the lads are a meeting G D When the moon's full and the girls are a bleatin Em C The catholic, the protestant even the pagan G D The pub is the place when lady is raggin C So drink of your pint boys and thank your shamrocks C That as men folk we don't have to bleed from our cocks C And that we can escape from the lady in red C D And get out of the house and go down to the old pub e|------------3---| B|----------3-----| G|--------0-------| D|------0---------| A|----2-----------| E|--3-------------| instead.