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Stuart tab

version 2
version 2

Whole song

Interactive

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The original tabs to this song, I noticed, had some minor errors on it. I transcribed
the song myself, I think these are the correct tabs.

e|-----------------------------------------|
B|-1-3-1---------------------------3---1---|
G|-------2-3-2----------------0-2----------|
D|-------------3--------0-2-3--------------|
A|------------------3-3--------------------|
E|-----------------------------------------|
You know what, Stuart, I LIKE YOU. You're not like the other
people, here,

e|-----------------------------------------|
B|-1-3-1---------------------------3---5---|
G|-------2-3-2----------------0-2--3---5---|
D|-------------3--------0-2-3------3---5---|
A|------------------3-3--------------------|
E|-----------------------------------------|
in the trailer park. Oh, don't go get me wrong. They're fine people, they're
good Americans. 
            F              D
But they're content to sit back, maybe
F                       E                F D       F
watch a little Mork and Mindy on channel 57, maybe kick
                   E  F       D             F
back a cool, Coors 16-ouncer. They're good, fine people,
E       F              D        F                       
Stuart. But they don't know ... what the queers are doing
       C
to the soil! 

e|-----------------------------------------|
B|-1-3-1---------------------------3---1---|
G|-------2-3-2----------------0-2----------|
D|-------------3--------0-2-3--------------|
A|------------------3-3--------------------|
E|-----------------------------------------|
You know that Jonny Wurster kid, the kid that delivers papers
in the neighborhood. He's a foreign kid.

e|-----------------------------------------|
B|-1-3-1---------------------------3---5---|
G|-------2-3-2----------------0-2--3---5---|
D|-------------3--------0-2-3------3---5---|
A|------------------3-3--------------------|
E|-----------------------------------------|
Some of the neighbors say he smokes crack, but I don't believe it. 
Anyway, for his tenth birthday, all he wanted was a Burrow Owl.

F                D              F               E    F    D
Kept bugging his old man. "Dad, get me a burrow owl. I'll never
                 F                 E            F
ask for anything else as long as I live." So the guy
       D        F          E
breaks down and buys him a burrow owl. 
        F  D                    F
Anyway, 10:30, the other night, I go out in my yard, and there's
    C
the Wurster kid, looking up in the tree. I say, "What are
                                              G#
you looking for?" He says "I'm looking for my burrow owl."
A#              D#         G#          D#
I say, "Jumping Jesus on a Pogo Stick. Everybody knows
    G#                     D#                   G#
the burrow owl lives. In a hole. In the ground. Why the hell do you
                                 D#           A#
think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?" Now Stuart, do you
think a kid like that is going to know what the

e|-----------------------------------------|
B|-1-3-1---------------------------3---1---|
G|-------2-3-2----------------0-2----------|
D|-------------3--------0-2-3--------------|
A|------------------3-3--------------------|
E|-----------------------------------------|
queers are doing to the soil? I first became aware of this about ten years ago,

e|-----------------------------------------|
B|-1-3-1---------------------------3---5---|
G|-------2-3-2----------------0-2--3---5---|
D|-------------3--------0-2-3------3---5---|
A|------------------3-3--------------------|
E|-----------------------------------------|
the summer my oldest boy, Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival comes into
town every year? Well this year they came through with a ride
called The Mixer. 

    F   D                F         E     F
The man said, "Keep your head, and arms, inside
    D                        F    E            F     D      F
the Mixer at all times." But Bill Jr, he was a DAAAREDEVIL, just
         E               F       D          F
like his old man. He was leaning out saying "Hey everybody,
                                       C
Look at me! Look at me!" Pow! He was decapitated! They found 
                     G#   A#             D#
his head over by the snow cone concession. 
                         G#                              D#
A few days after that, I open up the mail. And there's a pamphlet
               G#                         D#
in there. From Pueblo, Colorado, and it's addressed to Bill, Jr.
    G#             D#                               A#
And it's entitled, "Do you know what the queers are doing to our 
soil?" 

e|-----------------------------------------|
B|-1-3-1---------------------------3---1---|
G|-------2-3-2----------------0-2----------|
D|-------------3--------0-2-3--------------|
A|------------------3-3--------------------|
E|-----------------------------------------|
Now, Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large US city,
there's a big undeground homosexual population. 

e|-----------------------------------------|
B|-1-3-1---------------------------3---5---|
G|-------2-3-2----------------0-2--3---5---|
D|-------------3--------0-2-3------3---5---|
A|------------------3-3--------------------|
E|-----------------------------------------|
Des Moines, Iowa, for an example. Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart. 
You can't build on it; you can't grow anything in it. The government

F         D           F      E                   F                    
says it's due to poor farming. But I know what's really going on,
E
Stuart. I know it's the queers. They're in it with the aliens.
                                    F   D         F
They're building landing strips for gay Martians, I swear to
God. 
                       C            
You know what, Stuart, I like you. You're not like the other 
        F
people, here in this trailer park.

            
            
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