The Good Book Chords

[Intro]
 
Bb
Life is like an ocean voyage
F
And our bodies are the ships
C
And without a moral compass
         A                 Dm   Dm/C
We would all be cast adrift
Bb
So to keep us on our bearings
C
The Lord gave us a gift
C7
And like most gifts you get
         C
It was a book
 
 
[Verse 1]
 
  F
I only read one book
           Bb
But it's a good book, don't you know
  C7
I act the way I act because
    C                  F
The Good Book tells me so
     F                F/Eb
If I want to know how to be good
     Bb/D             Bbm/Db
It's to the Good Book that I go
          C7
Cause the Good Book is a book
          F
And it is good and it's a book
 
  F
I know the Good Book's good because
    Bb
The Good Book says it's good
           C7
I know the Good Book knows it's good
          C                F
Because a really good book would
             F              F/Eb
You wouldn't cook without a cookbook
      Bb/D            Bbm/Db
And I think it's understood
             C7
You can't be good without a Good Book
           F
Cause it's good and it's a book
 
And it is good for cookin'
 
  Dm
I tried to read some other books
      A
But I soon gave up on that
    Bb
The paragraphs ain't numbered
         F              C
And they complicate the facts
  A                A/G
I can't read Harry Potter
              D/F#               Dm/F
Cause they're worshiping false gods and that
    G
And Dumbledore's a poofter
           C
And that's bad cause it's not good!
 
  F
Morality is written there
   Bb
In simple white and black
       C7
I feel sorry for you heathens
       C7              F
Got to think about all that
F                F/Eb
Good is good and evil's bad
    Bb/D
And goats are good
    Bbm/Db
And pigs are crap
       C7
You'll find which one is which
       F
In the Good Book
                           G
Cause it's good and it's a book
 
And it's a book (yeah!)
 
  Dm                             A
I had a cat, she gave birth to a litter
    Bb
The kittens were adorable
         F              C
And they made my family laugh
    A                 A/G          Dm/F
But as they grew they started misbehaving
     G                                 C
So I drowned the little fuckers in the bath!
         A                                  Dm
When the creatures in your care start being menaces
    G                                   C
The answers can be found right there in Genesis
        D
Chapter six, verse five through seven! Yee-haw!
 
G
Swing your partner by the hand
C
Have a baby if you can
D
But if the voices in your head
                      G
Say to sacrifice your kid
G               G7
To satiate your loving God's
C               C7
Fetish for dead baby blood
     D
It's simple faith the book demands
 
So raise that knife up in your hands
 
  F
Before the Good Book made us good
          Bb
There was no good way to know
     C
If a thing was good or not-not good
                     F
Or kind of touch-and-go—so
F           F7
God decided he'd give writing
Bb
Allegoric prose a go
    C
And so he wrote a book
           F
And it was generally well-received
 
    Bb                              F              C
The Telegraph said 'This god is reminiscent of the Norse'
    Bb                                F                  C
The Times said 'Kind of turgid, but I liked the bit with horses'
    A                               Dm
The Mail said 'Lots of massacres; a violent tour-de-force
       G
If you only read one book this year
     C
Then this one is a book
          D
And it is good
 
And it's a book' Yee-haw!
 
G
Swing your daughter by the hand
    C
But if she gets raped by a man
    D
And refuses then to marry him
 
Stone her to death!
 
   Em                                      B
If you just close your eyes and block your ears
       C                            G                 D
To the accumulated knowledge of the last two thousand years
     B                                      Em
Then morally – guess what? – you're off the hook
          A                                D
And thank Christ you only have to read one book
 
Dm
Just because the book's contents
     A
Were written generations hence
   Dm
By hairy desert-dwelling gents
A
Squatting in their dusty tents
Em
Just because what Heaven said
B
Was said before they'd leavened bread
Em
Just cause Jesus couldn't read
B
Doesn't mean that we should need
 
       C
When manipulating human genes
     G
To alleviate pain or fight disease
       C
When deciding whether it's wrong or right
   G
To help the dying let go of life
   D
Or stop a pregnancy when it's
D
Just a tiny blastocyst
        B                              Em
There's no reason why we should take a look
D            C
At any other book
        G/B
But the Good Book
           A
Cause it's good and it's a book
           D
And it's a book and it's quite good!
 
G                G7/F
Good is good and evil's bad
    C/E                  Cm/E
And kids get killed when God gets mad
    D
You better take a good look
       G
At the Good Book
X