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Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me ukulele

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There is no strumming pattern for this song yet. and get +5 IQ
Oh the sand keeps falling through the hourglass
               D                        Em
And there's no way you're gonna slow it down
           C                   G
You say we gotta treasure each moment
              D                    B
Who knows how long we're gonna be around

         C                  G
Yeah you keep on telling me life is short
         B                              C
And it's hard to disagree with what you say
       G                           D
But if time is so precious, why ya wasting mine
Cause I'm always reading, Always deleting
C                                       D
Every useless piece of garbage that you send my way

Every stupid hoax
All those corny jokes
      C                      D
Stop forwarding that crap to me
        G                          D
Well I don't need tons of cringe inducing puns
      C                      D
Stop forwarding that crap to me

      Em              Bm
No it isn't ok if you brighten my day 
          C                                 D
With some cut and pasted hackneyed Hallmark poetry
       G                    D
And I didn't request a personality test
      C         D
Stop forwarding - that crap to me

G - D - C - D

D              G
You're sending virus-laden bandwidth-hogging attachments 
   D                       Em
to every single person you know
       C                       G
You're passing round a link to some dumb thing on YouTube
     D                      B
That everybody else already saw three years ago
    C            G
And wacky badly Photoshopped billboards
     B                     C
were never that amusing to me
      G                        D
And I just can't believe you believe those urban legends
But I have high hopes someone will point you toward Snopes
C                                         D
And debunk that crazy junk you're spewing constantly

     G                            D
No I don't want a bowl of Chicken Soup for the Soul
      C                      D
Stop forwarding that crap to me
          G                     D
Send more top 10 lists and I'll slash my wrists
             C                      D
Please stop forwarding that crap to me
         Em                        Bm
Well I'm sorry I can't accept your paranoid rant
            C                             D
And I don't want the Neiman Marcus cookie recipe
          G                          D
Won't you kindly refrain, cause it's hurting my brain
Stop forwarding... that crap to me

Am                                    D
Like glittery hearts and unicorns and pictures of somebody's cat
           Am                                 D
Now tell me in what alternate reality would I care about something like that?

And by the way your quotes from George Carlin aren't really George Carlin
Mr. Rogers never fought the Viet Cong
And Bill Gates is never gonna give me something for nothing
And I highly doubt some dead girl is gonna kill me
If I don't pass your letter along...

A          G
Well now I know you're wishing 
I'll sign your petition
          C                      D
But stop forwarding that crap to me
And I don't want to read your series 
Of conspiracy theories
           C                      D
Just stop forwarding that crap to me
And your two million loser friends
All have my address now
          C                            D
Cause you never figured out the way to BCC

Now I gotta insist
Take me off of your list
      C         D                G
Stop forwarding-- that crap to me

G                               G - G/F#
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Em                              Em - Em/D
Stop forwarding that crap to me
C                    D
Stop forwarding that crap to me

C - D - G

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