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Your Horoscope For Today chords

version 2
version 2

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Standard Tuning EADGBe



Intro: C Dm Em F G G7 C F G


Verse 1: 
C                                F                C                     F                 C
Aquarius! There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus,
          F                      C                           F          C
Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-a-mole 17 hours a day

C                 F                C             F          C
Pieces! Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola Virus 
             F               C                           F               C
You are the true lord of the dance, No matter what those idiots at work say 

C                       F                               C                   F                   C        
Aries! The look on your face will be priceless when you find that 40lb watermelon in your colon
                           F                                  C
Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, and give a hickey to Meryl Streep

C                       F                   C                   F           C
Taurus! You will never find true happiness, what you gonna do, cry about it? 
          F                       C                      F                           C
The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep


Chorus 1:

C           Dm              Em  F
 Thats your horoscope for today ay-ay-ay-ay
G                           C   F G
 Thats your horoscope for today
C           Dm              Em  F
 Thats your horoscope for today ay-ay-ay-ay
G                           C   F G7             
 Thats your horoscope for today


Verse 2: 

C                     F                    C                   F            C
Gemini! Your birthday party will be ruined once again, by your explosive flatulence,
                     F                         C                F                        
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through your chest.

C                       F                           C                     F              C
Cancer! The position of Jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud
           F                C                           F
Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driving test

C                      F                         C                       F                   C
Leo! Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your bosses face, oh no,
                  F                       C                   F  
Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding and wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quick

C                 F             C            F             C           
Virgo! All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligence, EXCEPT FOR YOU!
           F                  C                         F
Expect a big surprise today, when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick


Chorus 2

C           Dm              Em  F
 Thats your horoscope for today ay-ay-ay-ay
G                           C   F G
 Thats your horoscope for today
C           Dm              Em  F
 Thats your horoscope for today ay-ay-ay-ay
G                           C   F G7             
 Thats your horoscope for today



Bridge: Am-G-Em-Am-

Am                   G                           Em                              Am
Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative 
position of the
Am                                 G                           Em                        Am
planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively 
applies to only you
Am                             G                                Em                           Am
let me give u my assurance thatthese forecasts n predictions are based on solid scientific 
documented evidence
Am                                   G                          Em                              
so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is 
absolutely true

Where was I?


Verse 3:

C            F                            C                             F                 C
Libra! A big promotion is just around the corner, for someone much more talented than you!
                 F                   C                      F 
Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts next week

C                          F            C                                 F           C
Scorpio! Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window,
                 F                           C               F 
Work a little bit harder on improving your low self esteem, you stupid freak

C                     F                    C                  
Sagittarius! All your friends are laughing behind your back, "Kill them...."
                  F                    C                       F
Take down all the naked pictures of Ernest Borgiene you've got hanging in your den

C              F                    C                   F                              C 
Capricorn! The stars say you're a exciting and wonderful person, but you know they're lying,
                  F                            C                     F 
If I were you I'd lock my doors and windows and never never never never leave my house again


Chorus 3: 

C           Dm              Em  F
 Thats your horoscope for today ay-ay-ay-ay
G                           C   F G
 Thats your horoscope for today
C           Dm              Em  F
 Thats your horoscope for today ay-ay-ay-ay
G                           C   F G7             
 Thats your horoscope for today

C           Dm              Em  F
 Thats your horoscope for today ay-ay-ay-ay
G                           C   F G
 Thats your horoscope for today
C           Dm              Em  F
 Thats your horoscope for today ay-ay-ay-ay
G                           C   F G7         
 Thats your horoscope for today


C C C C (end)    

            
            
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